My True Identity Isn't My Company

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Every piece of clothing I wore had my company name on it. I thought about it first thing in the morning, all day, and every weekend. My company was the first thing they asked about when seeing family or friends. I thought it was who I was and my life purpose. After all, I was on a 10-year mission before selling it.

My ego was intertwined with being a “Founder.”

It was all-consuming, until it wasn’t.

After exiting the business, I thought I needed to do something. “My identity is in building; I need to build.”

Although this “building” urge still pokes its head every few days, even after 3yrs from selling, what changed is realizing my identity wasn’t actually the company. It was overworking.

I defined myself based on how hard I worked. How many hours I put in. Could I be the first one in the office and the last one sending Slacks at night? Could I fix the customer issues, code a feature, do a sales call, and sacrifice as much time as possible for the business?

Thinking back to that time makes me cringe. That lifestyle sucks, and I think we envy it too much. Was it really that great? Key employees quitting, revenue churn, integrations breaking, new hires, scaling problems, the list goes on.

Identifying myself as the hardest worker in the room isn’t for me anymore.

Maybe it had a time and a place to get financial freedom. But letting my ego drive decisions let me to burnout.

I want to allow myself to be highly passionate about projects, but sacrificing all life balance isn’t the solve anymore.

We don’t have to be in charge, make all the decisions, and always be busy anymore. It’s okay to unwind it all. This is a reminder not to let momentum and ego make our future decisions.